Are you wanting, but not yet willing?

May 10

Written By claire brejcha

I have found it incredibly useful in my life to explore the different between wanting and willingness.

For example, have you ever found yourself WANTING to do something, like rest or give yourself some quality ‘me’ time… and then never quite getting around to it?

Although most of us would agree that the idea of taking time to rest and care for ourselves is a good one, have you ever noticed how hard it is to actually do?!

So, why is this?

In my mind, despite saying we want something, it can be really valuable to ask ourselves; am I actually willing to receive this?

When we honestly tune with ourselves we might find that deep down there is some part of us that feels resistant and not on board with the idea!

For example, there might be parts of us that believe that if we allow time for rest we will become lazy.

Or that, if we make time to slow down we won’t achieve what we need to.

There might be parts that fear we will not get through our to-do list and then things will spiral out of control.

It might be noticing underlying beliefs that it’s necessary to push ourselves otherwise you’ll lose control.

Then there’s the parts of us that might believe we need to be on constant alert for others’ needs, in the belief that giving to ourselves is selfish and indulgent.

I believe it is so important to air all of these ideas and beliefs we have about self-care and resting.

If we don’t meet these fears with honesty, understanding and kindness, then in my mind any attempts to rest and care for ourselves will be short -lived and unfulfilling.

We can ALL learn to become more compassionate and kind to ourselves.

But we need to be willing.

In order to move towards a state of willingness where we are fully onboard with our action we first need to meet those fears and concerns with care.

So if we are aware of wanting more time to rest… we can ask; am I willing to receive that?

It might be you get a whole body ‘yes’.

But it might be you notice it’s more of a ‘hmm, well kind of…’ ‘maybe’ or some resistance…so you can enquire further…

You can ask yourself ‘What are my fears if I was to rest more and have more space to simple BE in my life?”

Write down what comes up.

From here we can then offer love and empathy to these parts that are scared that something bad might happen if we were to rest or care for ourselves more…

Remember, it all starts with offering ourselves 1% more of what we need and it will grow from there.

claire brejcha

Are you wanting, but not yet willing?

I have found it incredibly useful in my life to explore the different between wanting and willingness.

For example, have you ever found yourself WANTING to do something, like rest or give yourself some quality ‘me’ time… and then never quite getting around to it?

Although most of us would agree that the idea of taking time to rest and care for ourselves is a good one, have you ever noticed how hard it is to actually do?!

So, why is this?

In my mind, despite saying we want something, it can be really valuable to ask ourselves; am I actually willing to receive this?

When we honestly tune with ourselves we might find that deep down there is some part of us that feels resistant and not on board with the idea!

For example, there might be parts of us that believe that if we allow time for rest we will become lazy.

Or that, if we make time to slow down we won’t achieve what we need to.

There might be parts that fear we will not get through our to-do list and then things will spiral out of control.

It might be noticing underlying beliefs that it’s necessary to push ourselves otherwise you’ll lose control.

Then there’s the parts of us that might believe we need to be on constant alert for others’ needs, in the belief that giving to ourselves is selfish and indulgent.

I believe it is so important to air all of these ideas and beliefs we have about self-care and resting.

If we don’t meet these fears with honesty, understanding and kindness, then in my mind any attempts to rest and care for ourselves will be short -lived and unfulfilling.

We can ALL learn to become more compassionate and kind to ourselves.

But we need to be willing.

In order to move towards a state of willingness where we are fully onboard with our action we first need to meet those fears and concerns with care.

So if we are aware of wanting more time to rest… we can ask; am I willing to receive that?

It might be you get a whole body ‘yes’.

But it might be you notice it’s more of a ‘hmm, well kind of…’ ‘maybe’ or some resistance…so you can enquire further…

You can ask yourself ‘What are my fears if I was to rest more and have more space to simple BE in my life?”

Write down what comes up.

From here we can then offer love and empathy to these parts that are scared that something bad might happen if we were to rest or care for ourselves more…

Remember, it all starts with offering ourselves 1% more of what we need and it will grow from there.

Don’t just do something, sit there!

Grief is deeply humanising.