I was teaching the final session of my 8-week online course yesterday evening.
We were exploring the theme of core values and one woman shared how she feared getting to the end of her life and realising that she’d spent her life focused on the wrong things.
I wonder if you can relate to this?
I believe what she expressed is super important to recognise (before we get to our last moments!).
The fact is that it’s all too easy in the midst of this relatively fleeting life to lose contact with that which we most deeply value and love.
Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse, who counselled patients in their last weeks of life came to understand that there were common themes that kept surfacing again and again. She went on to write a blog called ‘The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying’.
These 5 regrets were:
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not what others expected of me”
“I wish I hadn’t worked so hard”
“I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings”
I believe we can learn so much from these wise words spoken from those who have departed before us.
When it’s all said and done here, and we are approaching our final breaths how will it be to look back on our time here, and the choices we made in our life? (if indeed we have that opportunity)
It’s unlikely in those last days that we’ll be caught up in whether we managed to achieve all the things on our To-Do List.
Or whether we accomplished all our goals.
Or whether we kept the house tidy, or stayed on top of the laundry!
An essential aspect of self-love is to identify our own core values, and to find out for ourselves whether we are living in accordance with them.
As we build our capacity to hold ourselves with care and compassion we will typically find the inner resource to live more in touch with our value…and to live a deeper and more meaningful life.
Perhaps at the end of this life we might be left wondering, did I love well?
Did I really allow myself to appreciate and live this extraordinary life that I was graced with?
Did I truly allow myself time to experience a sunrise, the star-filled sky, looking into the eyes of my child or loved one…
Did I allow myself to love… and be loved?
What is it that you love to love, Subscriber First Name
Today, I invite you to put down your phone, turn off your computer, leave the domestic tasks for now, and go and make a connection with that which YOU love to love.
Maybe it’s your dog, perhaps nature, feeling the softness of grass under your feet, seeing the colours in a flower, enjoying the sound of birds, feeling the soft breeze on your skin.
Maybe it’s connecting with your child, partner, friend (how would it be to express some small appreciation to them today?! Or allowing yourself to enjoy the warmth of a hug.
Whatever it is, allow yourself time to really savour the experience, however small, drink it in…