Cultivating a healthy relationship to anger

Yesterday, I talked about the shadow, and how the part of ourselves that we deem as ‘bad’ get pushed into the unconscious.

I know for me one of those parts that got pushed underground over the years is anger.

Like many of us, I didn't grow up around adults that had a healthy relationship to their own anger, and learned from an early age that anger was deemed bad and something to be ashamed of.

I became a ‘pleaser’ and tried to hide and suppress my anger.

I got into Buddhism and tried to make myself into what I thought was a ‘spiritual’ person who never got angry.

Well, of course it didn’t really work!

As happens when we push aspects of our psyche into the unconscious, we pay a high price.

Ignoring and suppressing our anger can lead us to feel anxious, emotionally constricted, or numb. It can end up feeling like a knot of tension in our body and an armouring around our heart.

For me I realised that each time I pushed down my anger, I also pushed down my strength. This was a revelation to me!

I realised I actually NEEDED my anger. That it was perfectly valid, and to be listened to and respected.

Anger is a perfectly healthy emotional response; the work for me has been about learning how to cultivate a healthy relationship with it.

Have you ever said to yourself “I shouldn’t get so angry” and feeling like there’s something wrong with you for feeling

that way?

Let me know....